John's Drabbles
by Icy Sapphire15
Summary: A series of little drabbles centered around John. Will contain Johnlock and run the gauntlet from dark to playful.
1. John's Piercing

Johnlock, established, newly together.

Summary: Sherlock discovers John's piercing. Sherlock is amused. John isn't.

* * *

Sherlock fiddled with John's piercing. "How long have you had this?"

John fidgeted. "Sherlock, stop that. It's really sensitive."

Sherlock looked up at John. "You're avoiding my question John."

John rolled his eyes. "I've had it since university. Some mates and I made a drunken bet one night in medical school and, well…Here it is."

Sherlock's attention returned to the small steel ring. "Stamford has one?"

John shuddered. "Thank you for that lovely mental image. No, Stamford and I weren't that close in university. Sherlock!"

Sherlock grinned unrepentantly. "Bored." As he returned to playing with the ring and categorizing John's reactions, he added, "How did you get into the Army with this? Doesn't the Army forbid piercings?"

John snorted. "Sherlock, how often do you think I was naked in front of the higher ups? No, don't answer that. My commanding officers never saw the piercing. No one did. It wasn't hard to hide. " He propped himself up to look at Sherlock as Sherlock began to mouth at the ring. "Sher-Sherlock!"

"Hmmm. Fascinating."

* * *

R&R please! I want to hear what you think the piercing is! I'm not telling. =P


	2. John's Gun

Set after the Fall. A supposedly dead Sherlock returns to his John, not realizing the deadly consequences.

Forgive any mistakes. I took a basic idea that I'd written out and ran with it. Not edited, not brit-picked, just my brain vomiting creativity all over my keyboard.

* * *

The gun is in his hands before he realizes it. The trigger is pulled and there is an odd, acrid smell in the air. John knows that even Sherlock's famous reflexes aren't fast enough to dodge a bullet.

He wants to blame Sherlock. He wants to scream. He even wants to cry. What he does instead is reach for his phone and text Mycroft.

_I know you're watching. Help._

An answering text appears within seconds.

_I am on my way._

John paces while he waits for Mycroft to come make it better. He wonders why Sherlock is sneaking up on him in the dark, when he should be dead.

He doesn't bother to hide the body. He hopes Mrs. Hudson heard the report and will come investigate. She is too used to gunshots in 221B to call the police for every little shot or bizarre sound. He hopes Mycroft hurries.

Finally Mycroft lets himself in. He takes in the body on the floor and the gun in John's hand. Without a word, he helps John maneuver the body down the stairs, where Mrs. Hudson is blessedly sleeping, and into his usual black car. A team is waiting for them and for a sick moment, John is afraid that Mycroft will help him vanish. Permanently. No one will find his body if Mycroft doesn't wish it.

Instead, after a tense ride, the team silently buries Sherlock in the previously empty grave and disappears. Mycroft guides John to a warehouse and explains what Sherlock was unable to. John nods silently and leaves. Mycroft does not stop him.

* * *

Three months later, one Mrs. Turner calls the police to 221B Baker Street. The official story is that an intruder broke in, stole John's gun, and shot Mrs. Hudson and her tenant. If there are no unknown prints, no witnesses who saw this man but heard his shots, and the bullets match the one found in the "unsolved" Jefferson Hope file, Lestrade isn't talking.

* * *

Wow. Much darker than I imagined it would be at first. R&R pl0x!


	3. John's Wild Streak

Yes, I am aware that this is highly illogical. Yes, I am aware that John could never do this IRL. Do I care? Not one whit.

Established Johnlock, only coming in the form of Sherlock trying to grab Naked!John. Rated more for John's wild streak.

Only minimally edited. Too lazy/busy to do a better job. Everyone is probably OOC, but it's pretty crackalicious.

* * *

Sherlock was concentrating deeply on his latest experiment when a very displeased Mycroft came storming into the flat, a very happy Anthea and a very happy and very naked John in tow. For once Anthea wasn't on her Blackberry, instead ogling John as she walked.

"Sherlock," Mycroft ground out, "I had rather hoped that John would a good influence on you, but instead I find it is quite the opposite."

Anthea tore her eyes from John long enough to walk over to the table and delicately put John's jumper and jeans on it. Her eyes immediately slid towards her blackberry, and then back to John.

Mycroft harrumphed loudly and Anthea pulled out her blackberry and began to diligently text again. Sherlock had only seen this look on Mycroft's face a few times in his life and accordingly put his experiment to the side to fully concentrate on the bizarre situation in their living room.

John had a large, unrepentant grin. He was also naked, wearing only his socks and his shoes. Sherlock would have hummed in approval, except he could see Anthea peeking over her blackberry and Mycroft was glaring. So he dragged his attention to Mycroft. Mycroft was practically vibrating with anger, something that Sherlock could never remember seeing. He grabbed John by the neck, who was still grinning, and shook him. "Do you know where he was today Sherlock?"

John smoothly broke Mycroft's hold on his neck. "I'd do it again too."

Mycroft harrumped one more time and beckoned Anthea. They descended in haughty silence- at least on Mycroft's part- and John moved to grab his clothes. He avoided Sherlock's grasp neatly and moved towards the stairs. "I'll be down after I've showered. Running through Whitehall and avoiding the guards really works up a sweat."

Sherlock goggled at John. There was no other word for the expression on his face. "Running through Whitehall? Naked?"

John gives him a look. "Well of course. It's really quite obvious- one doesn't need to be a consulting detective to realize that."

"Is that why Mycroft was so huffy?"

"Oh no. He was huffy because I managed to run through the room where the PM was doing his weekly question time. Not even your brother can suppress that."

Sherlock couldn't help it. He began to laugh. "Why were you running naked through Whitehall?"

"Because 1000 pounds was really too good to pass up."

"What?"

"You weren't there that night were you? Drunken bet."

"But you aren't drunk."

"Well it hardly counts if I were drunk at the time of the streaking. And I'll have you know that I just won this month's rent money." John turns and saucily walks up the stairs. "And I don't have to worry about any legal trouble. There are some people even Mycroft can't _entirely_ boss around."

* * *

Some fanon says that John knows one of the princes from his Army days. My knowledge of Chicago apartments says that with a discount, 1000 pounds a month could probably cover both halves of the rent.


	4. John's Grandfather

The first few lines are from the script of A Study in Pink. I don't own them, or the characters.

* * *

Sherlock smirked. "You've got a psychosomatic limp, of course you've got a therapist. Then there's your brother. Your phone. It's expensive, e-mail enabled, MP3 player. You're looking for a flatshare. You wouldn't waste money on this - it's a gift, then. Scratches. Not one, many over 's been in the same pocket as keys and coins. The man sitting next to me wouldn't treat your one luxury item like this. So it's had a previous owner. Next bit's easy. You know it already.  
'Harry Watson - from Clara xxx'."

John asked, "The engraving?"

"Harry Watson - clearly a family member who's given you his old phone. Not your father - this is a young man's gadget. Could be a cousin, but you're a war hero who can't find a place to live. Unlikely you've got an extended family, certainly not one you're close to, so brother it is. Now, Clara - who's Clara? Three kisses says romantic attachment. Expensive phone says wife, not girlfriend. Must've given it to him recently - this model's only six months old. Marriage in trouble, then - six months on, and already he's giving it away? If she'd left him, he would've kept it. People do, sentiment. But no, he wanted rid of it - he left her. He gave the phone to you, that says he wants you to stay in touch. You're looking for cheap accommodation and you're not going to your brother for help? That says you've got problems with him. Maybe you liked his wife, maybe you don't like his drinking."

"How can you possibly know about the drinking?" John asked, slightly nettled.  
Sherlock rolled his eyes. "Shot in the dark. Good one, though. Power connection - tiny little scuff marks round the edge. Every night he goes to plug it in and charge but his hands are shaking. You never see those marks on a sober man's phone, never seen a drunk's without them. There you go, you see? You were right."

"I was right? Right about what?"

Sherlock smirked again. "The police don't consult amateurs."

John smiled. "That was amazing."

Sherlock smiled back, hesitantly. A true smile, a shy smile. "You think so?"

"Of course it was. It was extraordinary. It was quite extraordinary. You are very clever."

"I know."

John hesitated, then plunged ahead. "Except…you were dead wrong."

"What?! No. You're just trying to get a rise out of me like the others!" Sherlock yelled.

"Nope. 'Fraid not," John said sadly.

"But, the scratches, the new phone, and the inscription. I know I was right!"

"Harry was my grandfather. He worked as an electrician before becoming an engineer late in life. He worked on this phone's previous models, but his Parkinson's got the worst of him. Grandmother Clara bought it for him as a gift. You were right about one thing- Grandmother died last month. Grandfather is in a home now. Saw no use for his phone there, so he gave it to me."

"No no no!" Sherlock was pouting.

John ignored his temper tantrum in favor of looking out the window. "Oh, are we here? Where exactly is here?"  
Sherlock, in turn, ignored John and stalked angrily away.

John turned to see his new flatmate stomping childishly towards a crime scene. "Sherlock? Sherlock?! Sherlock!"

* * *

For those of you who don't know, Parkinson's is a disease where the afflicted gets very shaky, among other symptoms. When the disease progresses enough, the patient may lose the ability to dress themselves, feed themselves, or perform other activities of daily living- such as plugging in a phone smoothly.


End file.
